HOW IT WORKS

1.  Both you and your spouse call to discuss/schedule/confirm an appointment.  We answer any questions or concerns either of you have about the process of Mediation. This enables the client to better assess the appropriateness of mediation in their case.  It also provides an opportunity for the mediator to learn a bit about your situation, your expectations and your goals. 

2.  A joint session is scheduled where the Mediator meets both parties and begins to get an idea of how the family operated as a whole as it relates to money, children etc. This information is organized for reference and utilization by all at future sessions. Gathering and organizing this information early on helps the mediator to facilitate the parties' informed decision-making regarding their future. Initial goal-setting is also included in this session.

3.  After the joint meeting, individual sessions are scheduled where each party can share their unique perspectives and concerns. Additionally, the mediator will introduce a discussion about what is/isn't working regarding the current communication patterns and assist the clients in determining what they can contribute and what they need from each other in order to be more productive moving forward. Previously established goals are clarified.

4.  Once issues are identified and goals are established we begin the joint process of identifying and exploring various options potentially suitable to your unique situation. This usually involves a blanket process of generating multiple ideas from the very extreme to the simplistic and everything in between. The Mediator guides the process as you narrow down the possiblities to those which are "doable", keeps everyone on topic, helps identify communication barriers and encourages the implementation of effective communication strategies. The purpose of this type of sesssion is to facilitate the process of thinking "outside the box" in an effort to establish a comprehensive agreement which is uniquely suited to your situation.

Your Mediator is aware that divorce is a difficult and taxing time both physically and emotionally, and that no one is at their best. Emotions are at the surface and there is a lot at stake. You will not be judged for your feelings or expression of them. Instead, the Mediator will help both parties express their feelings in a way that they can be better heard and understood...while helping the other party to process what has been portrayed and express how they are impacted. It is also important to the process that everyone feel safe and respected. It is normal for divorce to produce feelings of anger and frustration. These feelings can and often must be addressed, though in a respectful and productive manner.

5.  You jointly determine which options work for you, if any. Once we have gone through a process of entertaining different ideas which may not upon first glance seem "doable", we'll tweak each idea in an effort to establish whether it "could" be a possibility with some modifications. Both parties work together to determine which scenario best represents the needs of their separating family.

6.  Your Mediator prepares a written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which summarizes the terms you agreed upon during the mediation process.

7.  You each submit the document to your respective attorneys for review.

8.  Your attorney prepares a Settlement Agreement based on the agreed upon terms of the MOU.

** Some people choose to file independently without the consult of an attorney. Those who choose to follow this route would submit their MOU along with the other state required paperwork for divorce. Click here to learn more.