MEDIATION VS LITIGATION


LITIGATION:  When you get divorced you pay not one, but two attorneys.  There is typically a substantial retainer as well as hourly fees for discovery, updates, delays, attorney-client phone conversations and e-mails, attorney-attorney phone conversations and e-mails etc. 
MEDIATION :  One Mediator works with both parties in a neutral fashion and produces a detailed agreement entitled a “Memorandum of Understanding”.  Phone calls to and between attorneys are dramatically decreased and ultimately the savings in time and money are substantial.


LITIGATION:  If the parties are unable to settle custody independently, an advocate will be appointed for the children.  Obtaining a child’s advocate adds an additional attorney’s fee to the mix, in addition to the financial and emotional burden of psychological testing and evaluation for the entire family. 
MEDIATION:  You and your spouse determine the parenting time that is best for the children without punishing them for your separation.


LITIGATION :  The Judge makes all final determinations about your life.
MEDIATION :  You and your spouse make all final determinations about your life.


LITIGATION:  The divorce process is lengthy and is determined by court schedules and delays.  The coordination between attorneys also takes a great deal of time and money.
MEDIATION:  You and your spouse can determine how quickly or slowly you want the process to proceed.  Often parties enter the divorce process at varying paces.  This is another factor which can be resolved  within the framework of mediation.


LITIGATION:  Everything submitted to the court, or stated in court is a matter of public record.  Everyone and anyone (including your children) can access these records for many, many years to come.
MEDIATION:  The content of mediation remains private and confidential.  The only information that is agreed upon is included in the written “Memorandum of Understanding”.  None of the accusations or statements made in the process are admissible.


LITIGATION:  The judge makes the determination as to parenting schedules.  Their decision is influenced by their perception of what they know of the situation in addition to their own experiences and biases.  Often when parties are in conflict, the judge will choose a unique parenting plan of their own which doesn’t align with either parents’ request.
MEDIATION:  You and your spouse work out what is best for your children.  Perhaps you try out different parenting schedules until you find one that works best.  Nothing is put in writing until both parties agree.


LITIGATION: Your children pay the price for the conflict inherent in prolonged court battles. They are stuck in the middle of two people they love. If you want them to dislike the other parent, they may act as though they do in front of you to please you. But the truth is, they need and want you both, and you have an opportunity to show them how much you love them by honoring their needs even when you are in pain. Litigation does just the opposite.
MEDIATION: Mediation provides you the opportunity to make the best out of a bad situation for your children. Parties who utilize mediation experience less long-term conflict, which directly effects their children's experience of the divorce.


LITIGATION:  Your attorney is your voice in both financial and custody matters.  It is difficult to portray the entire picture to your attorney without spending countless amounts of money and time.  Many attorney’s advise their clients to minimize or cease communication with their ex during negotiations.
MEDIATION:  You and your spouse work together to create a custody/financial agreement that works in your situation.  Communication is enhanced throughout the process, leading to less conflict post-divorce


LITIGATION:  People can get caught up in a battle of the wills on some of the personal property.  Judges have been known to draw names out of a hat to determine ownership of these items, or mandate that the item be sold and the proceeds donated to charity if the couple can’t agree. 
MEDIATION:  You and your spouse work together to negotiate a fair split.  No one walks away with everything, but everyone feels like they got as fair as possible of a deal, and they remained in control throughout the process.


LITIGATION:  Everyone is fighting to “win”, or to ensure that their ex-spouse “loses”.  When divorce goes to trial, everyone loses in a very literal sense.  No one ends up getting what they wanted.  Hostility grows and communication is hampered through the litigation process.
MEDIATION:  People are more likely to abide by the agreements made in mediation due to the cooperative nature of the process.  Additionally, future communication is enhanced and conflict is reduced.


LITIGATION:  Both you and your spouse will be put through the ringer in court.  It is more painful and ugly than anyone ever anticipates.  Judges strongly encourage people to avoid divorce court at all costs, as nothing good can come of it. 
MEDIATION:  Mediation is private and does not seek to humiliate or demoralize anyone.  Your relationship is already broken, and mediation sees no need to make a bad situation even worse.  With mediation, you have the choice to take the high road, to learn something about yourself, to enhance your communication with your ex and learn new communication skills to incorporate into future relationships, to honor your children’s  right to as normal as possible a life.