REASONS TO USE MEDIATION


YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR FUTURE
Mediation is a collaborative process wich allows you and your spouse make all decisions independently. The mediator does not impose his/her values or views upon you. The judge does not dictate your future. Mediating your divorce helps the two of you to maintain control over your own lives during a time when you might feel a bit overwhelmed and out of control. Your mediator can guide you through all the negotiations associated with divorce, some of which may not have occured to you. You will be provided a folder including various work sheets and lists to help you get organized and make decisions independently, without relying on the hope that the judge will see things your way.


MEDIATION IS COST EFFECTIVE
Attorney's fees are far greater than those of mediators. The average litigated divorce case in Illinois costs $18,000 per spouse. Cases involving complex custody battles and/or property disputes can cost upwards of $50,000 per spouse. Mediation provides a cost effective alternative in that the hourly fees as well as the sheer volume of hours necessary is tremendously lower. Even if there are a small number of issues which are not settled in Mediation, you have saved a tremendous amount of money by negotiating at least a portion of the issues in advance. Many couples begin mediation AFTER spending thousands of dollars in court. Often these cases are settled in a matter of just a few Mediation sessions, despite the fact that the parties have already spent months/years in court.


MEDIATION IS EASIER ON YOUR CHILDREN
Mediation allows each party to truly focus on what is best for the children rather than focusing on "winning". Parents who utilize Mediation are more inclined to establish a parenting plan which allows for the active involvement of both parents rather than punishing the children by limiting their time with one parent or the other. The process of litigation is stressful and anxiety provoking for both parents and children. The end result is typically one of limitation and frustration. No one wins. Everyone loses.


"I have never been ruined but twice: once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I won one." Voltaire


MEDIATION IS CONFIDENTIAL
Your privacy is maintained with mediation in a way that simply cannot be accomodated in a courtroom setting. The only communication that leaves the mediation room is the final document of agreement which both parties mutually negotiate and agree on. If no agreement is reached, no information is released. The Mediator cannot be called to testify, nor can either attorney use statements made during mediation in their representation of you or your spouse. Mediation provides an open forum to work through sensitive financial and personal issues.


MEDIATION IS NON-ADVERSARIAL
Rather than fighting against one another to "win", the parties work together to come to a mutually acceptable solution. When parties litigate they each hire their own attorney to fight their battle. Communication and negotiation between the parties is thwarted in favor of heated discussions between their attorneys at varying and unpredictable intervals. Progress is exceedingly slow, and there is a "win-lose" mentality. Somebody always walks away unhappy, and usually that somebody is both parties. Judges rarely, if ever, rule solely in favor of one party. Mediation provides you one last effort at negotiating a "win-win-win" solution. You win, your children win, and your spouse wins. You can all move on.

MEDIATION IS FUTURE ORIENTED
You are separating for a reason, and it is likely you can't agree on who is to blame. Much of the conflict that occurs in negotiating divorce issues centers around each parties focus on the deterioration of the relationship rather than possibility of a happy and healthy future for themselves and their children. Mediation helps keep parties on track as they collaborate in establishing a parenting plan that can work long term for everyone. This enables the parties to honor the best interests of the child...a meaningful relationship with both parents whether the parties are married or divorced.

MEDIATION IS VOLUNTARY
Each party has the option to terminate mediation at any time for any reason. This is true even when Mediation is mandated by the judge. (Currently in Illinois Mediation is mandated prior to trial for any divorcing couple disputing custody.) You have nothing to lose and everything to potentially gain.


MEDIATION IS EFFICIENT
Mediation sessions are scheduled within one to two weeks of the initial call. An agreement is usually reached within just a few sessions. This translates to a couple months in comparison to a couple years where litigation is the course of action.


MEDIATION IS CONVENIENT
Mediation sessions are scheduled at your convenience. Morning, afternoon and evening sessions are available most days of the week. Mediation can be conducted in your own home if you and your spouse agree this is preferable or more convenient.


MEDIATION ESTABLISHES THE FOUNDATION FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION POST-DIVORCE
This is particularly important when there are children involved. It has been proven in numerous studies that the effects of divorce on children are highly dependent upon the parents interactions with one another and comments about one another. Couples who can divorce and remain respectful of one another in front of the children have a profound affect on their childrens' emotional well-being. This can be supremely challenging, especially in the first years after the divorce. Mediation helps to reduce conflict by distancing each of you from the emotional explosion of the separation so you can both focus on a brighter future for yourselves and your children. Communication patterns are observed and new possibilities are introduced enabling you to create and maintain an effective working relationship as parents.


MEDIATION CAN BE EFFECTIVE EVEN IN VERY COMPLEX CASES
Whether you have a minor dispute or cannot agree on a single thing, Mediation can be of assistance to you.


JUDGES HIGHLY RECOMMEND MEDIATION
I have had many opportunities to speak with judges, and they are all eager to thank me for the Mediation work I do. A number of judges have asked me to pass along their advice: "Please Mediate, don't litigate." One judge emphasized that "litigation in divorce cases is really, really ugly in the courtroom". Judges strongly dislike being placed in the position to decide your future. When it comes to personal possessions, judges in Cook County have been known to draw names out of a hat. One person might end up with all the items of value while the other ends up with place-mats and bath towels. Another judge ordered that the parties belongings be sold and the proceeds donated to charity. Judges are influenced by their own personal values which may not align with yours.

Judges would prefer you be in control of your own future, and when all is said and done...you will too.


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